HOW
CAN PARENTS/CARERS HELP ELIMINATE BULLYING IN SCHOOLS
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Bullying goes on to
some extent in every school, and may often be wide spread.
However, the way it is dealt with can make a huge difference
to whether life is tolerable or a misery for victims.
Bullying
can have a seriously damaging effect on children and young
people and you should take it seriously. Research shows
that being bullied is likely to lead to loss of self - esteem
for the victim both in the short and long term. Victims
of bullying are also more likely to have difficulty in concentrating
in school, are more likely to truant and more likely to
have difficulty sleeping.
This
can lead to poorer academic achievement.
Schools
should take bullying seriously and when choosing a school
for your child it may be advisable to enquire about the
following points:
- Does the school have a clear policy on bullying that
is publicised to the entire school community?
- Does the school undertake curriculum work with pupils
around bullying to raise awareness of its unacceptability
and negative effect in victims?
- Are staff trained in tackling bullying incidents when
they occur, and what approach does the school adopt
to deal with bullying?
It
is important to talk to your child/children and encourage
them to tell you if they are being bullied. Many victims
of bullying are afraid to tell others of their ordeal either
through embarrassment, shame or worry that they might make
the situation worse.
Some
things to do if your child discloses that they are being
bullied
- Talk calmly with your child about the experience.
Try to ascertain who was involved, what happened, where
it happened and how often it has happened.
- Encourage your child to tell a teacher at school what
has happened
- Report the bullying immediately to the school. It
is best to do this by making an appointment with your
child's class/form teacher.
- Reassure your child and let him/her know that bullying
is never acceptable or the fault of the victim and that
something will be done to stop the bullying.
- Do not encourage your child to fight back against
the bullies. This can often be difficult, particularly
as bullies tend not to work alone, and your child may
be put in further danger.
Talking
with teachers about bullying
- Try to stay calm
- Be as specific as possible about what has happened,
particularly about dates, places and names of other
children involved.
- Be aware that the teacher may not know that your child
has been bullied or may have heard a different version
of events
- Make a note of what action the school intends to take
- Stay in contact with the school. Let them know if
things improve or if the problem continues.
What
if my child is bullying other children?
Many
children are involved in bullying at some time in their
lives. Children can bully for a number of reasons:
- It makes them feel powerful
- Their friends encourage them to bully or respect them
when they do.
- They're copying bullying behaviour of other people
whom they admire.
- They haven't learnt alternative ways of interacting
with school friends
- They are going through a difficult time and acting
out aggressive feelings.
To
help stop your child bullying others, you could try some
of the following:
- Talk with your child. Tell them that what they are
doing is unacceptable and try to get them to see how
unhappy they will be making the victim.
- Discuss with your child's teacher how you and the
school can stop your child from bullying
- Regularly check with your child how things are going
at school
- Give your child lots of praise and encouragement when
they are co-operative or kind to other people.
- Check with your child to see if anything is disturbing
or worrying them.
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